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Time, Indeed, Does Fly

It amazes me how fast life marches on. I feel like I was just a medical student not too long ago. But here I am in my final year of residency. I have almost completed two months. Ten months remain after this. I have my first fellowship interview this coming Tuesday.

It is amazing how one changes over time. I remember when I started medical school. Like 90% of medical students, I briefly entertained the idea of pursuing a surgical specialty at some point. As it came time to apply for residencies I chose Internal Medicine with the intention of going into primary care. I wanted the long-term relationship with my patients. I wanted to get to know them. I wanted to work with them for the improvement of their overall health.

Interests change. Goals change. As I have gone through residency I feel very comfortable on the inpatient setting. Maybe that is a by-product of a heavily based inpatient Internal Medicine residency. My program produces some fine internists that make great hospitalists. Or maybe it is the result of working in a continuity clinic based at a county hospital mainly seeing underserved patients. Only a handful of my patients have any actual “continuity.” Sometimes it feels like every patient I see is a brand new patient to the system. And sometimes I wonder what ever happened to Mrs. X or Mr. Z. Some say that private practice is different. The patient population is different. Perhaps. But I may never actually find out.

Along the way I have decided to pursue sub-specialization. That means that after I complete this Internal Medicine Residency, I will hopefully complete my time as a resident and begin my time as a fellow in an Internal Medicine subspecialty. Of course, there is the chance I won’t match. So for the time being, allow me some privacy. Once (or if) I become a fellow, I will talk about it then.

If I don’t become a fellow I will be able to begin practicing medicine as an attending. That is a weird thought. It’s comfortable NOT having the final say. It’s easier when the decisions and responsibilities don’t fall on your shoulders alone.

The rest of the year promises to be challenging. But I should probably enjoy the ride. Because before I know it, this year will be done.

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I’m Still Here

It’s been so long since I have posted. According to the site, the last post was back in November. I’m still here. And I’m still alive and surviving internship.

I plan to continue blogging. I will just need time to sit down and write. Often, I get home and just want to eat and sleep. But I will need to begin writing again.

There are so many stories and experiences to share.

I will also have to update the header image of this blog. I’m not quite in medical school anymore.

This week I have off. It is my 2nd (of 3) week of vacation. Unfortunately it cannot be a true vacation — I’m trying to use it to study for Step 3 which I am taking in a few weeks. And even when I am not actively studying, my mind is telling me that I SHOULD be studying.

I feel like a student again. But only because I have a Step 3 test to study for.

Well, until next time…

I will continue to write. I will continue to blog. Stay tuned.

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Dr. W?

I was waiting in the lobby of the building. I had a 9:30 appointment with human resources. I knew they wanted to take a picture for my ID badge. I assumed I would be given some other info as well. I had already previously completed a bunch of new hire “paperwork” online.

As I sat and waited (im)patiently in the lobby I started playing with my phone. Then I heard a male voice call out, “Dr. W?” (And he did a decent job of pronouncing my last name, too!)

I almost laughed out loud. But I stood up and went to meet him, all the while trying so hard not to have a weird grin.

It’s still weird to hear someone seriously call me “doctor.” Better get used to it though. I start on service in about two weeks…

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Medicine & Death

I just found this quote by Dr. Atul Gawande and I wanted to share it:

The simple view is that medicine exists to fight death and disease, and that is, of course, its most basic task. Death is the enemy. But the enemy has superior forces. Eventually, it wins. And, in a war that you cannot win, you don’t want a general who fights to the point of total annihilation. You don’t want Custer. You want Robert E. Lee, someone who knew how to fight for territory when he could and how to surrender when he couldn’t, someone who understood that the damage is greatest if all you do is fight to the bitter end.