One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a “massive internal fart.”

- Another true story brought to you by the medical community

A distraught patient phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” the woman wanted to know, “that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of my life?” She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, “I’m wondering then just how serious is my condition? This prescription is marked ‘No Refills.’”

- Another true story brought to you by the medical community

A call laboratory from a distressed husband. “My wife is collecting a 24 hour urine sample. Well, she has waited 23 hours and she can’t wait any longer.”

- Another true story brought to you by the medical community

A very pregnant patient arrived in our busy ER. While being wheeled from the waiting area, the baby’s head emerged, sending the woman into a panic. “I’m so embarrassed,” she sobbed.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” the nurse told her, “we had a woman deliver a baby on the front lawn last year.”

The woman again broke into tears, “That was me!”

- Another true story brought to you by the medical community

A mother called the pharmacy inquiring, “My son was given chewable tablets, but unfortunately, he swallowed them. Should he get a new prescription?”

- brought to you by the Medical Community