If I were an actor…

Every once in a while I read about how some actor or actress refuses to watch any film that he or she acts in. I used to think that was odd. I mean, why wouldn’t you want to see yourself?

That’s how I felt — at least until I had to watch myself on video. After I saw a standardized patient in an OSCE I had to sit with two other students who had a interviewed two different actresses playing the same role.

The clinical case was simple. A 21 year old Caucasian female who previously suffered from Bronchitis (1.5 weeks ago) has a complaint of vaginal itching. She just completed her course of antibiotics 1 day before coming into the office. Based on that patient ID, and the subsequent history I (and I believe my two colleagues) concluded that this woman had a yeast infection.

That was the easy part. Well, more or less…

The difficult part came after. We sat in a group of three with one of the physicians and watched clips of each other’s interview. We had to comment on what we liked about it and what could be done to improve the interview as a whole.

After this group session we split up and had to watch our own videos in it’s entirety before writing a self-evaluation as well as what we think we could do to get better and what we planned to do in order to actually get better at it.

Well I cringed. I didn’t like watching myself on video. It was awkward. My voice sounded… well it just didn’t sound quite right. I watched myself and thought, “hmmm… I guess I could lose a couple more pounds.” (Is that girly of me to think that? LOL)

At least, however, I did get some positive comments. I’m not horrible at interviewing as long as I don’t go blank midway through. The physician told me I did not look nervous and I actually looked like a doctor in there — or at least on camera.

And the standardized patient wrote the following: “Good job!” and that I made her feel very comfortable during as a patient.

But on the bright side I know I can look a stranger in the eye and with a straight face talk about her vaginal itching, sexual activity, and sexual orientation all while making her feel comfortable.